• Coach Kristen, MD

2020 .... And now for something completely different

Wow, what a year it’s been. It’s one thing for things you feared to come to pass - another altogether when things you never even considered as possibilities become the major stressors in your life! Had anyone asked me what my greatest fears were prior to 2020, “global pandemic” would not have made the list.

For me, this year has been a roller coaster of emotions: fear, deep sadness, and anger unlike any I’ve felt since I was a child. Fear of losing my home, sadness as the silence and inactivity allowed me to revisit painful memories both recent and remote, and anger at the injustices that permeate our world. And not the righteous kind of anger that rises up to protest the injustices others face; no, nothing so noble as that. Run of the mill normal anger at the loss of stability that COVID brought to MY life.

And yet… and yet in this time I have had moments of great peace. Of quiet, calm, catharsis. For the first time in a long time I’ve had to stop rushing around, I’m not a slave to my phone’s constant demands, and despite the pain, I can’t escape the deep knowing that there is a great - even if as of yet unarticulated - significance to this time.

Something meaningful is happening in this space. Something deeply personal, and yet also, somehow, collective.

Maybe it’s the personal traumas that we carry that are finally surfacing, demanding that we grieve and process them. Maybe it’s our rage at systemic injustices that the stressors of the pandemic have exacerbated and made more visible. Maybe its the unnecessary polarization that colors so much of our thinking - white versus black, me versus you, democrat versus republican - finally becoming so extreme as to highlight its absurdity and to make change the only viable option.

What has this year looked like for you? What is the significance of 2020 in your life so far? What have been your struggles, your triumphs? What do you think the future holds?

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